i had a situation recently with a vendor (yes, he works for MY company) where he personally attacked me calling me unprofessional and amateurish. it cut me to the core, but at the same time i realized it was HIS issues that were causing him to say these things. i was defended by my boss, which was important professionally, but that didn't matter for my emotional state.

i really tried to put myself inside this guy's head (keeping in mind that i don't know him at all); i really tried to think what would make someone personally attack another person (not just me, because let's face it - he does this all the time, right?). how often he had been made to feel unimportant in his life, how often had he not been reinforced for good behavior. it made me really feel for him. he wasn't a jerk anymore, he was this injured person. i sent him loving energy and the angst lifted. when i see him now, i give him a warm smile and send him healing energy. he corrected me in a meeting recently and i thanked him for educating me on that particular point. it's all completely disarmed him. i don't know if he feels any better, but i sure do.

there are many criticisms to this - it's patronizing, etc. but i really feel that i have the right to do whatever necessary to deflect negativity and send positivity.

blessings,
erin